Oct 19, 2008

Me, Only Better

It has been a while since I was in my cam-whore mood. I just don't think about it anymore because I am so busy blogging and everything. I also thought for a while that our camera and all are just for my son. Yeah, as all mothers do. Picture here and there, videos everywhere. Mothers always loves it. But last night, after I straightened my hair again, which I haven't done for quite a while as well, I feel like taking a picture of myself. Oh, I think it really show on my face that I gained weight. I guess I have bigger face now, but I still feel beautiful (geez! thanks to my husband for always telling me. lol)

So, why me, only better?

Well, I think I have changed a lot. Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and almost all about me. I believe that I am someone better than what I was before because I now feel good about myself. I am not guilty coz I hurt somebody's feelings or done something wrong to somebody. Oh my! Those were my horrible days. But I still didn't have regrets for anything that happened in my past coz they're all a part of me. At least, I am better now and will continue to be coz it's really hard to live a life with too much pride and insecurity.

Yes, I felt insecured before that is why I tend to do some silly things to other people whom I think who are better than me or sometimes I just do it for the sake of my pride, always thinking that I am tough and strong and no one can ever look down on me. But I realized that my own life is not about someone else's life, so whether they are better than me or not, I know I am still the best for those who loves me: my husband, my son, my parents, my in-laws, my bestfriend, and my true friends and that's all really matters.

Do I think I am perfect now? No, never!! I can never be perfect and no one will be. I still am doing bad things not being aware of it. That's humans are, we are all made as sinners but we always have the chance to change what was wrong as long as we live.

I am not trying to impress anyone with this post, but I just let my feelings out coz I am so tired of hearing someone judges me with what I was before. People may changed, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Today I may be good but tomorrow I may be bad (I hope not!). But again, we can't tell anyone what to say, do, or feel. That's how they live their life so let them be.

Whew! I wasn't planning it to be this long. But, until then. Thanks for reading! :-)

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