The Unspoken Goodbye

Today, we said our last, most painful, goodbye to my brother, Jack Obon.

The last time I saw him was around 6 years ago. After then he would message me every so often. And when he does, I was more annoyed than grateful because he would only do so when he needs something. Except for the last one. He said, "dako naman diay si Dion, Gang" (Dion is bigger now, Gang). 'GaGang' is my nickname. And I still chose to ignore it, unbeknownst that it was his last message sent to me.

Time, we can't take it back. What has been done was done. We can only think back and wished we've done things differently but it meant nothing for the past. We can learn from it and use it for the future but there are things that just can't be undone.

I'm almost certain that my brother would have done a lot of things differently if he got the chance, but he didn't. Never will.

One thing that brother has been known for is running away. He avoids facing the problem or confronting anyone without physically hurting them. If he can't hit you when he is mad, he leaves. He never says goodbye! He always comes back though. Whether it be in a couple hours, few days, months, in a year or so, we would always see him again until last Saturday, December 5th 2015 -- he left yet again without saying goodbye and we know for sure he ain't coming back.

Once again and for the last time, my brother left us with his unspoken goodbye. So long, Kuya!

Inspiration = Motivation

Inspiration

{the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative}

My family inspires me. 

My dream for US is what drives me to become successful. And when they believe in the things I could do, I become stronger and I strive harder.

Motivation

{the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way}

Weird as it may seem, but I am motivated by people who doesn't believe in what I can do. I get satisfaction by proving them wrong. When they think I can't, I show them that I can.

Reference: Oxford dictionary - for definitions.

Are you still happy?

In a relationship, it is okay to be sad, it's normal to cry, and it's fine to be hurt...but they should never outnumber the joyful moments.

Remember the reason why we decided to be with someone - it's not shed to tears, but to fill our hearts with happiness. So, if you feel more sadness than happiness, you have to let it go.

#ThursdayThoughts : What Would Happen?

Most knew me as a happy-go-lucky person and I still am but not as what I used to be. I used to just let things be -- not worrying of anything that might happen and just doing anything that makes me happy. Some call it selfish, I call it self-love because I strongly believe that "No One Is Going To Love You If You Don't Love Yourself".

But that recently changed with this question that crossed my mind: WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO ME?

Most (if not all) of us have loved ones who depend on us. I love myself but I also love my family and I know they love me as much. And as much as I hate to think about it, I know it will happen, that I would pass and would no longer be around them. So, what's gonna happen then? Am I ready? Are they ready? NOBODY will ever be ready for that, EMOTIONALLY. And there is not any easier way to overcome that.

Losing a breadwinner does not only hurt emotionally but FINANCIALLY too.

Our family does not live a fancy life. Both me and my husband work hard to make ends meet. We try to save money for the future but we know that it won't be enough to make a bright one. We have too many bills to pay -- Home Mortgage, Car Loans, Home/Car/Health Insurance, Utilities, etc. As breadwinners for our family, our responsibilities are endless! And they would fall into whoever would be left behind.

Imagine the situation when that happens? PAINFUL, I know. It's too painful that I imagine myself getting out of the grave just so I could continue working after I die.

Luckily, I found a way to ease the financial pain when the time comes and I won't have to join the "Living Dead".

How about you, HAVE YOU ASKED YOURSELF THAT QUESTION? If yes, I would love to help! Comment here or leave me a personal message.

Is It Too Late?

Growing up, I've always wanted to play a musical instrument. At least one. I played ukelele (spelling?) and was wanting to step it up by playing banjo but I never really got too far with it. I asked my brother to teach me with their guitar, but that didn't happen.

So now that I am older, I still have that hope, especially when I found out that my husband played before. So I will try learning the piano keyboard. Hopefully he can teach me at least the basics. It shouldn't be too hard, I think. Hope it isn't too late for me yet, is it?

I need falsies

Unfortunately, I am not one of those lucky girls gifted with long lashes. But thanks to Karl Nessler (yes, I googled it) who thought about inventing false lashes. It's just a matter of learning how to put them on. 

So, I decided to try the free Bobbi Brown Long Wear Shadow stick in color 'shadow' that I got from Sephora (i love being a Beauty Insider!). I thought this would be good time for me to practice putting false lashes to complete the smokey eye effect that I was 'trying' to achieve.

Practice means perfect, right?! Hopefully, I'd be able to perfect this soon.

Power of Make-Up

My son asked me, "why do you spend so much time putting make-up on? For me, nothing changed on your face." I told him, "son, make-up should not change one's face. Rather, improve the beauty that one already have. I know it doesn't make sense to you. But let me put it this way - make-up makes me happy! And that will always remain a mystery to some people, especially men." Surprisingly, it kept him shut. Such a smart kid to understand that he will never get the answer he wants, so why bother ask again.

Hint! Hint! Hint!

It’s almost my birthday! Another year to celebrate life and youth because for me, it is another year younger (definitely not older). At 25 (again) I could say I’ve done a lot in my life. Wish I could have done more but I can only do so much at a time. And I am a strong believer of “everything has its own time and place” so I don’t really push for things to happen. I just savor each moment while I’m in it.

Birthdays mean gift-giving (receiving for my part). And if you are one of those people who just can’t resist getting me a gift, I can assure you, I’m not hard to please. I’ve got my long list but I really really love personalized gifts. So on the top of my list is this customized shot glasses by Glass with a Twist that is just too fab to pass. If you know me, you know I love to drink. So, yes, a cute little shot glass with my name perfectly engraved on it will definitely make you my bestfriend! What I love about this specific shot glass is it is permanently engraved as they are actually carved into the glass surface. They will never wash off so it will definitely last forever. And did I mention how much I love personalized gifts?

I will also take gadgets, makeups, purses, shoes, and the list goes on....

Hope that’s enough hint for ya! Thank you in advance!

My [im]Perfect Marriage

No marriage is perfect and ours is not exempted. It's like any kind of relationship, there will always be misunderstandings. And that is totally normal because no two people are the same. We are all made unique in one way or another, so there will always be differences between us.

Marriage is a contract which should only end with death. Some people sees it as just a paper, but I see it as a promise to God. A promise to take care of the person whom He blessed me with. 

After my terrible relationship before I met Andy, I gave up on men. Given that none of my past relationships were great, I thought it is never for me. But despite of the pains, I still had that tiny bit of hope that God already picked the perfect one for me. And with some encouragement from friends, I decided to open myself up and that's when I found Andy.

Now that we are married for seven amazing years, I could say that we have become better as a couple and as individuals. I would be lying if I say that never once did I think of leaving him. He is not perfect by any means. But I cannot imagine myself being with another man. Anyone better than him. There were a few times that we could have given up but no matter how much we hate each other at the time, we still know that we have more good days than bad. And that's what we will always hold on to - the good memories we made and even the bad ones that we learned from.

Hidden treasure

I was looking for some boxes in our closet when I came across Andy's (my husband) keyboard.

Yes, he used to play keyboard. He used to have it in the living room of our old house so he could easily sit and play when he wants. But when Dion (my son) was about 3, he decided to stick a gum in it and we never got rid of it completely. Since then Andy never played it again. It also didn't help that the stand gave up.

So, I searched the Internet for a good keyboard stand and stumbled upon pl200. It's a Proline brand and known for it's sturdiness and reliability. It has an x-brace design with quick release lever and locking width and height for easy adjusting which is perfect for our family. I am sure Andy will be glad to be able to use his keyboard again on this neat stand.

I am tired of being [called] fat

I used to think that I am not fat. My husband keeps telling me that I am not. But when other people tells me that I am, it's hard not to believe them. Especially when I look at the mirror, step on the scale, or look at old pictures and realize how skinny I used to be. It never helps when people continuously tells me how big I am, even laugh at me, like my weight is some kind of a joke.

She knew something I did not

Apparently someone knew something about me that I didn't. The funny part is she barely knew me.

Honestly, it's been a while since I heard someone pass judgment over my actions. I used to get it a lot. I guess I stopped caring. I rarely try to find out what people's opinion are about me cos I learned what matters the most - my own opinion. It's my life after all. But this time, someone voluntarily shared what she found out - someone's two cents on why I did such things.

I still don't give a damn. I just find it amusing how they [think] knew something about me that I didn't know myself, then tell it to people like they really knew.

Sitting at the red light

Traffic sucks! But sitting at the red light, not too bad. Cos i get to blog in my thoughts right at the moment.

When i'm at the red light, i usually browse through my phone - check emails or more like deleting junk emails or see what my social friends are up to. Then sometimes, I just like visiting my interrupted thoughts that I had since I started my car to head home.

Thoughts about everything. It would be from what do I feel like eating at dinner to what will we do on our next long vacation to where will I be in 10 years from now.

Oops! Light just turned green. Gotta go!

Seven years and surviving!

Today marks 7 years since I first stepped on the land of opportunity, the United State of America. A totally different place and culture from what I grew up with. And to say that I have had a hard time adjusting is an understatement. There were times when I wished I stayed in the Philippines - where everything seemed to be too simple and easy. At that point, that's what I felt and boy did it change!

A lot has changed since then. I think it's safe to say that the changes were for the better. But I think my husband would be a better judge than me. Not talking about bias.

Anyway, here are some of the better changes in my life in my first 7-year journey in the US:

Teach me to play

Growing up, I always hear my Dad sing and my brothers play guitar. Because of that I joined a musical group in school where I played my little ukelele. I tried singing with Karaoke but I can't seem to hit the notes right, so I gave up on that dream. But not the dream to play an instrument.

I always love acoustic sound and fascinated by performers carrying their guitars while singing. For me, any guy would look hot and any girl would look sexy strumming on their guitars.

I may have given up on my dreams to sing, but not playing guitar. Especially when I found this dreamy Jem7v electric white guitar. It was love at first sight when I first laid my eyes on it. 

Now, it's just a matter of finding someone who could teach me how to play around here. Any suggestions?

Words of Wisdom Wednesday: Ugly The Cat

This story was on my Facebook's news feed from an the Unknown Author that definitely moved me. This is a story of how easy for some people to pass judgment over something that appears sore to their eyes. People tend to judge the book by it's cover, no matter that popular the saying is to do not do it. And this story has truly inspired me. It taught me a lesson on how important it is to be kind to others, despite of their appearance, what they do, or what they say to you. It's normal for people to become defensive and hurt people who hurts them, instead of understanding them because hate doesn't get resolved by another hate, but with kindness. So, be kind because you'll never know what they're going through, just like Ugly.

 

The fight of the century

...or is it?!

A week past since the so-called fight of the century. I didn't think it was. And based on commentaries I've been seeing around, most, if not all, thought of the same thing. Yes, I had to wait a week before posting this. I didn't think I would but why not?! I have my opinion and I have a blog to write it on.

I'm no boxing expert. And I'd be lying to say I've watched too many fights to compare. I've seen most of Pacquaio's fight, but that's about it. I rarely talk about boxing, otherwise. But his fight with Mayweather, I knew he wouldn't win it. Why? Floyd Mayweather was too smart for Pacman. But I wouldn't say that Mayweather is a better boxer than Pacman though.

Fun Facts About Mom by Abi

First of, let me say "Happy Mother's Day" to all the loving and kind Moms out there. I hope you had a good one! I'd like to say 'to all' but we all know that not all mothers deserved to be one, unfortunately.

On the bright side, I love how my son surprised me with his home (or school) made mother's day card. He is usually pretty bad with keeping secrets from me. My husband actually learned that the hard way. But this year, my son only mentioned Mother's Day one time this week and never again until the actual day, when I got down the stairs, and he proudly handed me his purple (my favorite) color card. I was totally surprised that he actually made something for me. Well, thanks to his teacher for letting the kids show their creativity while learning the importance of celebrating their mothers.

Inside the purple card is a little questionnaire they fill out about their moms and below is what Dion thought of me. I love his answer in "the one thing I hear my mom say a lot is" and how he thinks I'm funny because I gave birth to him. LOL.

 

I'm a very proud mom of my smart, silly, and loving kid! Each time I look at him, I know I'm doing something good in life to deserve such an awesome son. And that alone makes me the happiest mother, not only on mother's day but every day of my life.

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Four women of my life: my Mother-In-Law, my Aya, my Nanay, and my Mamang

Mother's Day is a very special day for me, not only because I am a mother myself, but also because this is a great opportunity for me to thank my mothers/grandmothers and treat them extra special today. All mothers who took care of their children deserves a good Mother's Day, not necessarily by getting them expensive gifts but by making them special in any possible way you can.

I knew a lot of Moms but there are four most influential mothers in my life. I've learned so much from them and I am the mother than I am now partly because of them. This Mother's Day won't be complete without recognizing the mothers of my life. And they are....

Top 10 Highlights Of My Life

I tuned in to my favorite morning radio show, Bobby Bones Show, this morning like my usual daily drive to work, when I heard them sharing some highlights of their life, which inspired to me to write this post. 

Here is the Top 10 highlights of Jona's life!

10. First kiss.

Yes, I consider this as the 10th highlight of my life. I don't know about you but I'd never forget my first ever kiss. It was with my first boyfriend. I was 18 years old then, the age that my Dad said I could start dating. I remember waking up the next morning thinking about how sweet my first kiss was.

Words of Wisdom Wednesday: No Doubt

This is what I am feeling right now. I am asking myself until when should I keep moving or how hard should I keep trying. 

I want something in life and at one point thought I was right on track until impatience fooled me and made me take a different road. It seemed to be a long road. There were many obstacles and some were hard ones. But when I was about to give up, a little bit of hope hinted me to keep going. Then there was light, but it wasn't a full light. Something's blocking it but it's there. Now, I am trying to figure out how to get where the full light is at.

In life, there will always be hindrances. But they are just like that and nothing more. They are just like the tiny torn on a stem. You will need to touch them to get to the most beautiful part of the plant, the flower. The flower symbolizes your goal. The torn will never be bigger and more beautiful than the flowers on the top on the stem. And that's how we should see our goal, it should be bigger than any hindrances.

Life is never easy and it's meant to be that way. They said, if the fight ain't hard, then it ain't worth winning. I have won so many fights before and if I gave up on them, I wouldn't be where I'm at right now. I am far from my goal, but I will keep moving, fighting, and trying to get to where I wanna go.

Words of Wisdom Wednesday: Better You

I would like to start a little tradition in my blog called "Words of Wisdom Wednesday". I know it isn't original (i looked it up before I started typing this) as I have found one in Pinterest, but it's a good way of sharing some words of wisdom, at least one each week.

As a quote fan myself, I get inspired by a simple phrase that reflects me as a person or my current situation. It is like getting an advise on the spot. So with that, I hope to also inspire people with these quotes I'd be sharing every Wednesday, the same way they inspire me.

ESPN reporter's ugly rant

ESPN reporter, Brittany [Britt] McHenry, just proved to the world that she isn't as pretty inside as she is in the outside. Hate to judge but she asked for it when she decided to insult Gina Michelle, a single mother of 3, who works in Advanced Towing company at Arlington, Virginia.

According to the report of New York Daily News, the ESPN reporter's car got towed because it was left in a private parking lot after the establishment has been closed for 2 hours. She didn't like it, so she decided to let her frustration out to the poor towing employee. Here's what she said:

Life is too short to keep things to yourself

"Life is too short to keep things to yourself", said Lucky Manzano, host of Kapamilya Deal or No Deal, to Ella Cruz, one of the so-called Lucky Stars in the show, while they were talking about her revelation that she has a huge crush on Enrique Gil. He said it when Ella expressed her regret for revealing her secret because she'd now feel awkward around Enrique when she sees him again on one of their shows.

Drake's reaction to Madonna's kiss!

By now, you've probably seen the video of Madonna deep kissing Drake on stage at Coachella on Sunday. Most noticed how disgusted Drake may seemed when he tried catching his breath after the kiss. What most of us don't know the real reaction. But thanks to Instragram, it's too easy to stalk someone now. Here's what Drake clarified:

Don't misinterpret my shock!! I got to make out with the queen Madonna and I feel 100 about that forever. Thank you @madonna

Glad to know he wasn't just about to throw up when it happened as what we've seen in his facial reaction because nobody wants to pissed grandma....I mean, Madonna!

We Cut The Cord - Goodbye Cable!

How much do you pay for your cable bill? I know I paid too much! Almost $200 a month for channels we hardly visit. Some I didn't even know existed! After a subscription issues with our cable company, I finally made up my mind and decided to cut the cord! Now we're saving money but still able to watch our favorite shows

Hello to a new beginning...

...as my parents would say.

After 7 long years, my parents have finally moved to the US with me and my own little family.

I can still recall when me and my then 1-year-old son left my parents behind in Cagayan de Oro City, Philippines, to live with my husband in Texas. My heart broke so bad, but not as bad as their hearts were.

Dubsmash - Love me like you do

Check out my own dubsmash version of  "Love Me Like You Do", originally sang by Ellie Goulding. Starring in this video is my husband's poker face. Yeah, he doesn't care!

J-THINKS.COM - New Domain, Old Blog

Guess I'm back! Yay!

I am sure you're not as excited as I am. Or you may not know why you're even receiving this on your email [if you subscribed to my Feeds a few years back].

As part of my comeback, I've changed some and more later. First change is the Domain name. This used to have it's own domain {www.jonaverslife.com} but I don't have that anymore, so I switched back to the original one, free-hosted by Bloggers.com {jonaverslife.blogspot.com}, but now, after 3 years, I finally got a new name - www.J-THINKS.com!

Dubsmash - Eternal Flame

A very short dubsmash of the song "Eternal Flame", originally sang by The Bangles.