Dec 13, 2015

The Unspoken Goodbye

Today, we said our last, most painful, goodbye to my brother, Jack Obon.

The last time I saw him was around 6 years ago. After then he would message me every so often. And when he does, I was more annoyed than grateful because he would only do so when he needs something. Except for the last one. He said, "dako naman diay si Dion, Gang" (Dion is bigger now, Gang). 'GaGang' is my nickname. And I still chose to ignore it, unbeknownst that it was his last message sent to me.

Time, we can't take it back. What has been done was done. We can only think back and wished we've done things differently but it meant nothing for the past. We can learn from it and use it for the future but there are things that just can't be undone.

I'm almost certain that my brother would have done a lot of things differently if he got the chance, but he didn't. Never will.

One thing that brother has been known for is running away. He avoids facing the problem or confronting anyone without physically hurting them. If he can't hit you when he is mad, he leaves. He never says goodbye! He always comes back though. Whether it be in a couple hours, few days, months, in a year or so, we would always see him again until last Saturday, December 5th 2015 -- he left yet again without saying goodbye and we know for sure he ain't coming back.

Once again and for the last time, my brother left us with his unspoken goodbye. So long, Kuya!

Nov 19, 2015

Inspiration = Motivation







Inspiration

{the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative}

My family inspires me. 

My dream for US is what drives me to become successful. And when they believe in the things I could do, I become stronger and I strive harder.

Motivation

{the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way}

Weird as it may seem, but I am motivated by people who doesn't believe in what I can do. I get satisfaction by proving them wrong. When they think I can't, I show them that I can.


Reference: Oxford dictionary - for definitions.

Oct 17, 2015

Are you still happy?

In a relationship, it is okay to be sad, it's normal to cry, and it's fine to be hurt...but they should never outnumber the joyful moments.

Remember the reason why we decided to be with someone - it's not shed to tears, but to fill our hearts with happiness. So, if you feel more sadness than happiness, you have to let it go.

Oct 8, 2015

#ThursdayThoughts : What Would Happen?

Most knew me as a happy-go-lucky person and I still am but not as what I used to be. I used to just let things be -- not worrying of anything that might happen and just doing anything that makes me happy. Some call it selfish, I call it self-love because I strongly believe that "No One Is Going To Love You If You Don't Love Yourself".

But that recently changed with this question that crossed my mind: WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO ME?

Most (if not all) of us have loved ones who depend on us. I love myself but I also love my family and I know they love me as much. And as much as I hate to think about it, I know it will happen, that I would pass and would no longer be around them. So, what's gonna happen then? Am I ready? Are they ready? NOBODY will ever be ready for that, EMOTIONALLY. And there is not any easier way to overcome that.

Losing a breadwinner does not only hurt emotionally but FINANCIALLY too.

Our family does not live a fancy life. Both me and my husband work hard to make ends meet. We try to save money for the future but we know that it won't be enough to make a bright one. We have too many bills to pay -- Home Mortgage, Car Loans, Home/Car/Health Insurance, Utilities, etc. As breadwinners for our family, our responsibilities are endless! And they would fall into whoever would be left behind.

Imagine the situation when that happens? PAINFUL, I know. It's too painful that I imagine myself getting out of the grave just so I could continue working after I die.

Luckily, I found a way to ease the financial pain when the time comes and I won't have to join the "Living Dead".

How about you, HAVE YOU ASKED YOURSELF THAT QUESTION? If yes, I would love to help! Comment here or leave me a personal message.