I am tired of being [called] fat

I used to think that I am not fat. My husband keeps telling me that I am not. But when other people tells me that I am, it's hard not to believe them. Especially when I look at the mirror, step on the scale, or look at old pictures and realize how skinny I used to be. It never helps when people continuously tells me how big I am, even laugh at me, like my weight is some kind of a joke.

2002

I used to laugh with them and made fun of my weight myself. Thinking that they just have this weird sense of humor of finding someone's size, that doesn't look normal to their eyes, funny.

See...I didn't plan this weight. It's not like one day, I decided that I wanna be fat. Yes, I did/do have options. It's either I eat less and be miserably starving or eat delicious food and be happy with full tummy; spend hours working out or enjoy ice cream with my family. In other words, yes I could choose to lose weight to give in to people's judgment, but that would make me unhappy.

2015

Here in the US, Americans don't call each other fat. It's flat-out rude, offensive and it could get you in trouble. While in the Philippines, close friends and relatives love to announce how fat I become before even checking how I was. Heck someone even said I look like a 'pig'. Then laugh about it.

Some of you might this post funny. I am glad that my weight is causing you joy, honestly, even without me trying. I just hope you'd return the favor though.

Yes, I am bigger than what I used to be but I don't consider myself fat. I am bigger than most of you, so as my heart. I love myself. I am happy with my size. I am sad though when I hear people make fun of it. But that's about it. I will eventually lose weight, not because people call me fat, but because I care for myself. 

I am borderline diabetic. Diabetes runs in our blood. My husband have it. So I know how hard it is to be diabetic. And that would be my one and only reason to lose weight.

Mock me, laugh at me, call me pig, call me fat - if that makes you happy, please don't stop. But I don't need to hear it. I know my size. If you consider it fat, keep it to yourself because I do not need your opinion of what a normal size should be like.