I remember that night like it was just yesterday. I was down on my knees, crying to God, heartbroken and lost. The night when he left me of uncertainties if he's gone forever or he would keep his promise of non-existent love. I know it was over between us but I just shrug the thought of it, hoping that the reality was wrong. But it wasn't! I used to think that I am strong and when this happens, I would be just fine - but I was wrong. Very wrong.
I was in so much pain and I felt him hurting inside me. I had to be strong.
I told God, "I am deeply sorry for I have wronged you, I did something against Your will, and I know I am being punished. But please, spare my child. I may not be righteous to ask you for anything, but you are my loving Father, and I love my unborn child as much you love me. He hasn't done anything to deserve suffering. Let him have a good life even it means I will have to suffer all my life. You have never betrayed me God despite of the countless times I betrayed You. Please do not betray my child as he will grow up knowing You and believing in You. I do not expect anything for myself as I have sinned a lot. But please give my child everything he needs."
That was my prayer and He listened.
As I look at my son, I know I did something good at some point to deserve him and God still being on my side.